What to expect from tech support; the dirty secrets.
As I mentioned before that there are a lot of smart technicians on the floor. Most of the time the tech is just typing your problem into a database that returns "known issues" and fixes (if there are any). If there is no known issue then expect one of the following solutions:
Format and Restore--You lose all data on your computer and start from scratch again.
Referred to 3rd Party manufacturer--You will not get your $34.95 back if the tech cannot figure out how to fix the problem and tells you to call the manufacturer of the 3rd party (ie US Robotics, AOL, Microsoft, etc...)
Referred to Service Center--You will not get your $34.95 back if the tech cannot fix your problem and refers you to a service center (ie CompUSA, Staples, BestBuy) for repair.
Techs can be very cruel sometimes... what do I mean? Well, sometimes we get death threats, screamed at, insulted. It seems the customer thinks that we are responsible for the problems you are having. If you are polite, have a sense of humor and are patient then you are most likely to get good service. However, there are some thing you just don't do or you will not be a happy camper. Here is a list of things to avoid:
Bitching about hold time: Yes, sometimes there are hundreds of people calling at any given time and you may have to hold and be submitted to funeral music for periods of 30 minutes - 2 hours. This is not the techs fault. If the tech picks up the phone and you begin laying into him/her about how long you had to wait you WILL be hung up on before you can even finish your sentence. Don't bother calling back and complaining that you got hung up on because the phone systems we have do not allow us to put you ahead of everyone else. The calls are ALWAY answered in the order they were recieved.
Trying to scam free support: The $34.95 you pay covers ONE (1) issue and no more. If you call and want help getting your sound back and also getting your printer to work again, that is TWO issues. Do not try to be sneaky and try to word the problem so that they sound related. Techs work on this shit 8 hours a day... We cannot be fooled. The only people you may scam are the newbie techs that just hit the floor, in which case the support you get will probably suck anyhow.
Lying to the tech: If you have pirated software, windows, or anything like that... don't attempt to lie about it. Once again, we WILL know. We are trained to be professional liars and we can smell it in your breath. Just don't give us a reason to believe it is illegal software nor volunteer the information, otherwise we can't help you or it is our asses.
Asking to speak with a supervisor: Asking to speak to a supervisor is usually taken as an insult to the tech. Techs don't like to have their technically abilities questioned. If you ask to speak with a supervisor you may get "disconnected" in the process of being transferred. If you do get ahold of a supervisor, they will just check the notes to make sure nothing extremely stupid was done on the techs part then tell you there is no way you are going to get a refund and transfer you back to the tech support que. If this happens you will be added to the end of the que again and have to wait all over just to speak with a tech again.
Insulting us: Once again you will be talking to a dial tone before you can take your next breath.
Other Dirty Tricks: